The Confessing Lunatic

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 A love so compelling brought life to the dead, sight to the blind. It is unimaginable to me that people choose to refuse such love. But it is because of that love that we are convinced that Christ died for all and it compels us to share this love with others. No matter the cost.

Today my post will be short as I must confess that I am brain dead, hence the title of this post. I have thoroughly enjoyed this course but the reading has been in-depth and the conversation, at times, draining. In addition, when I talked with my husband and a really good friend of ours is hurting. Being so far away and not being able to comfort her makes it all much more difficult. Fortunately, she is a strong believer and knows that God will comfort her even more than I could. Knowing that though, doesn't make it any less painful. I'm just sad. Sad and tired are not good combinations. Father, be with N. Grant her peace in this time. Show her your abiding presence and unfailing love. In Jesus' name, Amen. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

I confess...I am learning so much more than I expected in this course, which is titled, "The Commercial Business Environment - A Primer for Department of Defense Managers." The course is built on 3 premises: individual study, learning teams and full class discussion. When the group is not in class, we are in a learning team or eating a meal together (meals are provided and per diem isn't so you have to be with these people to eat) or having individual study. It is becoming evident that Darden School of Business so completely believes in this premise that they have structured our days to the point that you have no choice but to participate in some manner or another. If you are participating in class, the Professor will likely ask you a direct question. If one fears being unprepared, the motivation is to keep up with the individual study. Perhaps Darden borrowed this concept from Jesus...He spent time in individual study (prayer), learning teams (time with His disciple...

Isn't it wonderful to know that when we need God most, He is there revealing Himself in that still small voice? I needed desperately to hear from Him today. When I was finished with class, I pulled out my reading plan which was 2 Corinthians 1-3. My eyes immediately fell to verse s 3 and 4. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." I immediately tried to remember the words to a chorus we sing at church...it goes something like: God of all comfort. God of all fears. We have come to seek You. We have come to seek Your face. While I do not enjoy being away from my family, especially for two weeks, I love being away from my desk, from everyday stuff that doesn't allow me to focus on the task at hand. This course is without a doubt the most in-depth course I have tak...

My whole being follows hard after You and clings closely to You; Your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:8 (Amplified Bible) Today I read chapter 1 (titled above) of A. W. Tozer's book, "The Pursuit of God." I've copied selections below that hit me square in the head (this is one of those "two-by-four" reminders/revelations that God has hit me with as He is teaching me). “How tragic that we in this dark day have had our seeking done for us by our teachers. Everything is made to center upon the initial act of `accepting' Christ (a term, incidentally, which is not found in the Bible) and we are not expected thereafter to crave any further revelation of God to our souls. We have been snared in the coils of a spurious logic which insists that if we have found Him we need no more seek Him. This is set before us as the last word in orthodoxy, and it is taken for granted that no Bible-taught Christian ever believed otherwise. Thus the whole testimony of the worshi...

Today I am faced with a decision, one that needs serious prayer but one that cannot wait for the answer to follow. So I turned first to the daily email reading that is sent to me. I confess ... I've missed a couple of days so I went first to the oldest, November 24th, and found that the message for that day was forgiveness. Then I turned to the daily Scripture reading plan that I've started. Today's passages were 1 Corinthians 6 - 8. Chapter 6 begins with disputes among believers. So at this point, I am certain of God's leading yet I'm not ready to deal with it. So I checked out the blogs of those that I normally read...and there it was again, reference to cynicism, stubbornness and just a plain bad attitude. Hmmmm. But it is something in the reading on forgiveness that strikes me... John Eldredge in his book, "Captivating" says this, "Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling – don’t try and feel forgiving. It is an act of the will. “Don’t wait to...

I'm in Charlottesville, Virginia for a two week class at the University of Virginia, Darden School of Business. I flew into Richmond because it was the only flight I could get. So I and my friend Ginger, who is also taking the course with me, rented a car and drove north to Charlottesville. I confess...I love Texas but absolutely nothing beats the glory of seeing the leaves in all their glorious fall splendor. As I drove, I couldn't help but praise God for the beauty that I was honored to see. At some point I will have to bring my children to this area of the country. Thank you, Lord for fall.

I woke up this morning thinking I should have a quiet time since I didn't have to get up and rush out the door to get to work. It was quiet since everyone was still asleep. I had the title of today's post running through my head - I heard a song yesterday and I couldn't remember which song it was. I wanted to listen to it while reading the Word. I confess...I never found the song nor did I have any quiet time because no sooner did I sit down with my computer to find the song, my littlest one woke up and wanted to have breakfast. While I was still trying to find the song, my husband woke up. What is important about this event is not to bore you with the trivialities of my day but to share what I am experiencing. Even though I didn't get into the Word, God is dealing with me. It's there just beneath the surface and I can't put my finger on it. I cannot shake the feeling, nor am I able to think of anything but that God alone is holy. So I will meditate on t...

Yesterday while working I listened to a song co-written by Wes Martin, Jeff Berry and others. It struck a chord with me because of where I am in my walk with the Lord. I thought I would share it because it is so profound. It is called "Glorious." Who is there beside You Who can stand before Your throne We are crying out to You How do we begin To search the wonder that You are To understand the mind of God To know the nature of Your heart Glorious You are Marvelous You are God alone You are the God Of creation You are the love calling deep You are the fear and the glory We cry out I absolutely love songs of affirmation of God's character and holiness. When I begin to focus on me rather than on Him, I am reminded through song that there is more to life than my issues. God is much bigger than me, than you, than everything under the sun! Thank God for two-by-four reminders!

I thought I should define why I am lonely because for those that know me, I am very blessed. I have a wonderful husband, amazing kids, and a loving, supportive family but there are times when a woman needs a woman friend with whom she can confide. I had that and lost it. Never have I felt more secure in a friendship than with her. Then there was a turning point and it all changed. When I look back and try to figure out what went wrong, I go over scenarios in my head and what-ifs but I always come up with the fact that it really doesn’t matter how it came about but that it has happened. I must deal with it. Yet, every Sunday I grieve like one whose family member has died. Certain songs I hear just bring the hurt back to mind and I find myself grieving all the more. I compare many women I meet to her and they come up short. I’ve heard the saying, “Time heals all wounds” and have foolishly said it once or twice myself. However, I am not sure that it will ever heal...I can only pray that o...

I confess...while I was updating my profile, (see the last post) I scanned scores and scores of other people's blogs. I'm not sure what compelled me to do so except that I am so lonely. I want to find someone with whom I can confide; someone who shares the same struggles as I; someone like the friend I thought I had. At any rate, in doing so, I ran across this blog, Life to the Full . I found one post that gave me cause to stop and evaluate my life. The post contains a quote from a book by Nancy DeMoss: "Holy people give themselves unreservedly to God and are patient with others who are still in the process. Hypocrites expect more from others than they are willing to give of themselves." In my particular case, I know that I am willing to give God 100% of myself. Without reservation I will do whatever God asks. But on the other hand, I know in the past that I have been impatient with others who are still in the process. There have been those that I have attempted to mi...

I must confess...my husband turned me on to this thing called Stumble. It's a tool bar that I downloaded into my browser that gives me the ability to "stumble" through the Internet finding sites that are like the items I've said I'm interested in. With such a wonderful thing, I confess I have wasted more time than I care to admit. I have to say though, I have come across some really neat sites: http://www.desiringgod.org/ http://www.allaboutphilosophy.org/cs-lewis-quotes.htm http://www.carolinaclassical.com/scales/circle.html http://rescomp.stanford.edu/~cheshire/EinsteinQuotes.html http://www.cookingbynumbers.com/frames.html http://onlineparallelbible.com/ Tonight I decided instead of stumbling, I would blog. Interesting thing, this blogging. I learned that when I updated my profile to add nonsensical stuff about myself and then viewed the profile, it made the lists links to other people's profiles who like the same things as me. I realize I am a novice at th...

I confess...I love Christmas music and Christmas movies. However, the latest commercialization of Christmas has got me baffled. In mid-October stores started putting out Christmas stuff, and we hadn't even had Halloween. Besides it's really hard to get into the Christmas spirit when it's still 75-80 degrees outside. Then to top it off, we set-up the sanctuary at church already with Christmas...seems kind of early since we haven't even had Thanksgiving but it was the best day to do it (yesterday before the evening service) since this coming Sunday we start colors of Christmas. Just strange. I have to admit though, it was fun to hear Bing Crosby belting out "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas" while we were decorating. I just wish it would get cold. Maybe soon...