The Confessing Lunatic

I thought I should define why I am lonely because for those that know me, I am very blessed. I have a wonderful husband, amazing kids, and a loving, supportive family but there are times when a woman needs a woman friend with whom she can confide. I had that and lost it. Never have I felt more secure in a friendship than with her. Then there was a turning point and it all changed. When I look back and try to figure out what went wrong, I go over scenarios in my head and what-ifs but I always come up with the fact that it really doesn’t matter how it came about but that it has happened. I must deal with it. Yet, every Sunday I grieve like one whose family member has died. Certain songs I hear just bring the hurt back to mind and I find myself grieving all the more. I compare many women I meet to her and they come up short. I’ve heard the saying, “Time heals all wounds” and have foolishly said it once or twice myself. However, I am not sure that it will ever heal...I can only pray that o...

I confess...while I was updating my profile, (see the last post) I scanned scores and scores of other people's blogs. I'm not sure what compelled me to do so except that I am so lonely. I want to find someone with whom I can confide; someone who shares the same struggles as I; someone like the friend I thought I had. At any rate, in doing so, I ran across this blog, Life to the Full . I found one post that gave me cause to stop and evaluate my life. The post contains a quote from a book by Nancy DeMoss: "Holy people give themselves unreservedly to God and are patient with others who are still in the process. Hypocrites expect more from others than they are willing to give of themselves." In my particular case, I know that I am willing to give God 100% of myself. Without reservation I will do whatever God asks. But on the other hand, I know in the past that I have been impatient with others who are still in the process. There have been those that I have attempted to mi...