The Confessing Lunatic

I have been rather discouraged lately. Work has been incredibly difficult, my school work is suffering and I'm quite certain my kids don't know my name. They see the back of me as I walk out the door in the morning, the side of me as I sit at my computer to do school work, and the top of my head as they peek in on Saturday mornings as I sleep. Yesterday I had had enough...I came home and just sat on the bed and cried. Jim consoled me the best he could, he just sat and listened. So today I check my email while I'm listening to my Professor talk about the changes in the DOD 5000 series of instruction which covers the topics I'm learning in his class. I scanned through the email to find a message from my Uncle Larry entitled Encourage. I waited until after class to read his message out of respect, mind you. However, his message is just what I needed to read at the moment that I'm struggling to get from point A to point B with my sanity intact. At the bottom of ...

There are two songs that you've probably heard on the radio that I wanted to share here. Songs of redemption and utter submission. It's funny how God pricks your thoughts with things that come out of no where. Lately I have struggled with a numbness towards God and anything God-centered. It's not that I am angry or depressed; I just feel nothing. I want to feel. I want to cry. I want God. Have you had a similar experience lately? If so, read on... I was driving to work the other day I heard these two songs back to back. As I became familiar with the chorus of the first time I began to sing along. I was beginning to get just a sense of God's presence. Then another song came on that I had heard before so I continued to sing along. In no time I felt God. As I reflected through out the day on those songs I am once again reminded that God is not all about me. I am to be all about God. If I give no thought of God and His perfect will in my daily walk, I not only miss out...

If you desire intimate union with God you must be willing to pay the price for it. The price is small enough. In fact, it is not even a price at all: it only seems to be so with us. We find it difficult to give up our desire for things that can never satisfy us in order to purchase the One Good in Whom is all our joy - and in Whom, moreover, we get back everything else that we have renounced besides! The fact remains that contemplation will not be given to those who willfully remain at a distance from God, who confine their interior life to a few routine exercises of piety and a few external acts of worship and service performed as a matter of duty. Such people are careful to avoid sin. They respect God as a Master. But their heart does not belong to Him. - Thomas Merton – I am in a rare moment of silence. The time of prayerlessness has ended...or has it? This quote has stung me. Like a bee. What’s interesting about this quote is that this topic it is exactly what I was listeni...

We're studying 1 Thessalonians in Sunday School. Though I've read the book before, it wasn't until I was studying and then later teaching the first chapter that one verse hit me square between the eyes. Read this, "We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." Consider what Paul was saying: 1. Work produced by faith 2. Labor prompted by love 3. Endurance inspired by hope What is it that spurs us on in our Christian walk? What are our motivations for going to church or going the extra mile or even telling someone about Jesus? I confess...this scripture is a stark reminder to me that too often I am motivated by the wrong things in my work for the Lord. What is supposed to be a joy and privilege has become a mindless activity done because that is what I've always done. In 2009 I want to recapture the joy of my salvation, to begin a new work that is...

It's begun...Friday we met as a family to discuss what God led us to during our 40 days of prayer. We agreed on the name Crowley Family Fellowship, which espouses a number of things that we believe God has called us to. First, we are in the Crowley community. We live in Crowley, our children go to school in Crowley, we shop in Crowley, we love the people of Crowley. Second, we've always said we're a family. But this time around this family is committed to doing and seeing the family grow. We want others to join our family because we love God and we love people. We are called to love because of what God has done for us. Lastly, we are a fellowship. This part of the name comes from Acts 2:42 which says, "T hey devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." It doesn't say that they devoted themselves to fellowship but to THE fellowship. I am excited about what God has planned for us as our F...

Last Sunday was a great day! I don't doubt what God is doing in our family but I confess...the confirmation I received was an added bonus! When I woke up Sunday, I was thinking of the scripture that I used in my last post. I pulled out my Bible and read the entire 8th chapter of Romans. Later Jim joined me in the living room and I read him the verses from my last post . He and I talked about the challenges we would face. During the service, God was definitely with us. I haven't been more at peace in a service in quite a while. Pastor opened the service for each to pray as God led. After several prayers were lifted, Jordan read the same verse from Romans that I had read to Jim just a couple of hours earlier. Later I asked Jordan why he read those verses. He said in a very matter-of-fact tone, "I know those verses and I really like them." His reaction was as if he were saying, "Mom, don't be so surprised I know my Bible." I know I shouldn't be ...

God is directing. We are responding. Satan is attacking. Wednesday was a powerful time of prayer in response to God's directing. I've known for months that God was instructing me to speak up and I have been miserable because I stayed quiet. Wednesday I couldn't hold back any longer...so I spoke up. Who knew that it was going to be the right time? God did. A movement has begun with our family...the family we used to call Pleasantview Baptist. But evidently Satan doesn't want us to move out in God's direction because I can feel the attack we are under. Our good friend, Jackie, told us immediately after the service that she has a "suspicious" looking lymph node. I got home and got an email that I allowed to steal my joy. Then there was something else to throw me. I confess...I became angry where in just an hour before, I was at peace. Jim sat down at the kitchen table with me and said I had to pray right then and there. Truthfully, I wanted to hold on...