The Confessing Lunatic

If you're a parent, gather your kids and kiss them. Tell them how much you love them. Hug them so tight they beg for air! If you're a grandparent, call your grandkids and tell them you miss them and just how much you love them. What has prompted this? I confess...after 14 years of parenting I didn't realize just how blessed I was to have healthy, happy, well-adjusted kids. In 14 years, not one overnight stay until now. It wasn't until I was walking back into the hospital after staying one night at home while Jim stayed with Cali that I understood just how blessed Jim and I are. Sure, we've had our bumps and bruises. We've had our sleepless nights. We've even had multiple trips to the Emergency Room (more with some kids than the others). But nothing that compares to this recent illnes of Cali's. And in the grand scheme of things, Cali's illness is nothing compared to other children. Don't get me wrong, it was scary enough. I never left her side u...

I confess...this has been the strangest September, a September of firsts. Many of you know how extra difficult my job is during the months leading up to and including September. In fact, this year I started working overtime in May so yeah, it's been a difficult year. There hasn't been a September in 13 years (except the one or two while I was a stay at home mom) when I didn't work a lot of overtime in September. Then this year I have been wearing three hats at work since I got a promotion -- my new job, my old job (because we haven't hired anyone) and that of Section Chief since that Chief deployed to Afghanistan. To top it off, Jordan is in the high school marching band...HIGH SCHOOL. I am still freaked out about this since I only have four years with him before he goes to college. I am quite certain I'm not ready for this -- heck, I cried the day we discovered he was officially taller than me! And, Cali started pre-school three days a week. I can't bel...

Thank you for your prayers for Cali. For those who haven't heard, Cali has been in the hopsital since Saturday. We learned on Thursday that she had pneumonia. She was given a shot of antibiotics and went home from the doctor's with an oral antibiotic. On Saturday (September 12th) when she looked like she was getting worse despite the antibiotics, we took her back to the doctor where she got another shot. Despite that, we still ended up at the emergency room. After taking x-rays, they admitted her due to the complications from the pneumonia. Her right lung was completely white-ed out on the x-ray. We were told that we should expect to be here a week to 10 days. As medically advanced as we are, pneumonia is just not a disease that goes away quickly. Today was an improvement, Cali felt well enough to play with dishes and play dough. Now though, as the fever has come back she is sitting in her big hospital bed shivering. What I'm beginning to understand about pneumonia is that...

I recently read a Facebook post from one of Jim's younger cousins that shows a Godly wisdom beyond the earthly age of many. She was describing how God is teaching her that her view on service is not as God intended (my take on what she said) and that Jesus Christ should be the object of her heart -- not service. Part of her post included a quote that I was almost certain that I had read before so being the curious one, I Googled the quote and discovered that C.A. Coates had written an article entitled, " Occupation with the Object " is where the quote came from. I am struck in particular by the thought that we become restless and discouraged when our service isn't doing any good. Consider what Coates says, " Very often young believers who have not even peace with God are encouraged to take up service, and they become so occupied with what they are doing that they are not at leisure to learn or to take their place in the favor of their Father. Hence, so long as th...

Everyday I am reminded of God's peace but none more so as this weekend. Sunday after we came home from church, we found our older dog, Copper, on his back in the backyard, obviously in distress. He was caught in our electric fence and for the several hours we were away, he was unable to get to shade or water. As Jim went outside, he looked at me and said, "I think this is it." Immediately all our children began to cry. We've known for a while that Copper was not well and probably would not be with us for long. We've tried to prepare the children but nothing, other than prayer, really can prepare them for the loss of a friend. Jim picked up Copper and brought him inside. As the kids stood around us crying, I watched as Jim tried to get Copper some water. Jim and I looked at each other knowing the answer to the question, "What should we do?" but we wanted the kids to come to the same conclusion. I'm not sure what was harder in this situation -- watchin...

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and...

"I want the presence of God Himself, or I don't want anything at all to do with religion...I want all that God has or I don't want any." AW Tozer, The Counselor, 40.